Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Al Gore's Easter

Happy Easter:
Is it just me, or Easter coming earlier and earlier… must be because of global warming. Get Good ‘ol’ Al to scissor up his construction lift and show us a graph that is the size of the hole in the ozone layer explaining why Easter is occurring earlier and earlier every year. Rise in temperature of .5 degrees has caused a shift in the global weather to make the Easter Bunny get up 5 days earlier every decade. In about 2 millenniums we are going to be celebrating Easter before Christmas. Ironically, Christ was born near Easter, so this might just figure itself out. If it was not for peeps, Easter would be spoiled, but thankfully they keep for about a decade… or two. What are peeps, certainly you have heard of them. Candy that comes in the shapes of chicks… the baby chicken kind, and are filled with marshmallow. I think peeps and Twinkies are in competition with each other to see who can last the longest. I predict after the nuclear holocaust comes, notice it is pronounced nuclear, not “nuke” clear, and yes it is coming people… don’t be naive. The only survivors will be Cockroaches that will survive on uneaten Twinkies and peeps.

Every left wing militant hippie will confirm this theory, just go ask one… I DARE YOU. Not only will you get an ear full of granola, disagree with them and they will run you over with their Subaru Wagon. I hate hippies, doggone whining full of contradictions, looking for evolutionary growth from living a life like a vagabond with their head in the biodegradable MTBE that ended up being more damaging than the previous additive to fuel… ARGGG. Why does it smell like sandal wood? Definition of a liberal, someone who is so open minded their brain fell out. Speaking of marshmallow goo, when did Al Gore eat Al gore? Seriously, you want to talk about waste, the man has gotten huge. He needs to go and do a few laps on the information supper highway… he “invented”. All the while, Easter is still coming early; I can not remember celebrating Easter and Saint Patties in the same week. Crazy eh?

Ok, I originally was going to start this post out friendly, nice and happy. And for some, maybe it has kept that tone, and for others, I might have just lost viewer ship. Anyway, Easter is a nice time to spend with family, remember the ones we love… and eat ham. Didn’t we just do this about 2 or 3 months ago? But this will be the first Easter in a long time where not only will I be able to spend it with the one I love, but I will not be alone and unhappy. Seriously, I looked back over the last 4 years, and every Easter I have been alone, or been miserable. So I am turning a new leaf. So again, happy Easter everyone and I will see ya’ll next week.

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